I've been out of basic training for two weeks now, and I'm still adjusting to a few things. There are a lot of rules and regulations to follow here at NATTC, but that's the military, and until I'm no longer a student I'll be forced to endure more rules than the normal sailor. There are a lot of things to remember, but I'm starting to get everything down, especially now that I have a job in my barracks. You would think that because I'm down at NAS Pensacola for training that I'd be taking my classes, but I'm not. Neither are a lot of my shipmates. We stuck waiting to class up - aka wait until our classes begin. I have anywhere from 1 month to 4 months until I get to start my classes. I've accepted it since I have two years of training, but I can't help but be a little jealous when some of the people I came here with class up. When you aren't classed up you're stuck with barracks support, which means you clean...all day. I got out of it last week though when I position opened up and now I'm a barracks support leader. I still work all day, but I'm not cleaning. So far I really enjoy my job and its a bit of training in a leadership position, which is good. Otherwise, things are a little boring around here to be honest. There isn't a TON to do on base, which makes the weekends a bit boring. You have to pay to get off base because you can only travel by taxi or bus unless you have a car (and there are few that do). In addition to that, you can't leave unless you have a "liberty buddy," and that can be frustrating because sometime you just want to do things alone or other people don't want to go to the same places that you do. Its a lot to get used to.

Things are also very different when I go out now. I'm held to higher standards, and what I used to find normal isn't normal any more. Its amazing how just two months of seclusion and training can really change a person. Basic training wasn't really that difficult, which I understand after speaking with the Great Lakes CO during a debriefing, but I wish it'd been more difficult. I lost weight and got a lot stronger, yes, but I wish I'd been pushed harder too. My division finished a week and a half before our graduation and we didn't even work out. I began to feel like all their training was just going to waste while I was sitting there in the compartment shining my boots and shoes day after day. I planned on getting back into working out after arriving at NATTC, but I got pretty sick. When I went to sickcall a few days after arriving the Captain that saw me was glad I came in because I could have developed pneumonia. She wasn't very pleased with Great Lakes after I got there though, because I'm one of many people who have come down right after basic with the same illness. They make you afraid to go to sickcall though, they really do. If you become LLD (light, limited duty) or SIQ (sick in quarters) you can fall behind in training - which you don't want to do. And sometimes they'll dig things up and find a reason to kick you out - happened to a couple of people in my division. I spent a week LLD though and was unable to workout after arriving at NATTC. It sucked, but I probably would not have worked out because I felt so horrible. I'm still getting over it a little bit, but I'm nothing compared to what I used to be.

Well, I've got to run to chow, I'll try to update on occasion. My time is more limited than it used to be, especially concerning my access to the internet at the moment.

Again, its been forever. Forgive me. I came home and got caught up in a lot of stuff after graduation. For the past...two-ish months I've gone through the phases of being legitimately busy to not really being busy at all. Throughout the remainder of May and the beginning of June I was spending a lot of time with my boyfriend, who I had limited time with because he was leaving mid-June for some training with the Army. We got a lot closer over that period of time, especially emotionally. I have never been this close to someone. I was with Tim for three months and I never felt this way about him. It scared me when I first realized that I loved Jason. Scared the hell of me. I won't like. It took me two weeks to really accept it, and then finally tell him, and by then he was gone and we were communicating by phone. Yeah, lame to tell him via text, but I at least got it out there. But I do love him, and I know it every day when I can't see him. It worse now since he'd gone for the ROTC version of basic and the only way we can communicate it by letter. It sucks. I won't get to see or talk with him until I graduate from Navy basic in September. Which, by the way, begins next week for me, but I'll go over that later.

Anyways, I've been to two weddings this summer. I was invited to a third, but I was so exhausted by that weekend I didn't really want to go anywhere. The first wedding was my cousins in St. Louis. I love St. Louis, grew up visiting most of my extended family there. Jason came along and met my dad's side of the family but didn't make it through the reception because of a migraines, which sucked. But I was glad he came. It was out last weekend together. The next wedding was one of my sisters and I was actually in this one. Good Lord was it exhausting. We were on our feet for so long. But Aimee, my sister (a Greek sister), was gracious enough to let us stay at her apartment the night before her wedding, and then we stay at the hotel after that. Between her and her mom it was a great experience, just very tiring. It was also a kind of reunion with a lot of my Phi Mu sisters. I got to see all of them one last time. It was great, and my biological sister was my date and we had a ton of fun. She sat with my Phi Mu big sister and got to know her. I'm glad they got along. But then, I think its difficult for Noelle (Phi Mu big sister) to not get along with anyone, she is a bartender after all.

By then I was most of the way through June. My sister and I next went to the Eclipse opening, which was entertaining. I love going to movie openings, the crowds are just too fun. We were sitting between some older ladies that were fun to talk to and much more into the series than we ever were - or will be for that matter. Twilight is just a guilty pleasure for me. Complete entertainment. Harry Potter though, that is a completely different story. It saddens me that I'll likely miss out on the opening.

Since then, my life has been relatively uneventful. I've been training all summer. Some weeks were better than others. Go figure this past week was the hottest week of the summer that we've seen and I've run four of those days. I past my fitness test on the 16th of June. I had to run a mile and a half in 15:30 and managed it in 12:52 - I've never been able to run that fast, and my time will only get better at basic. I had to complete 46 sit ups in two minutes and 16 push ups in 2 minutes as well. I did 50 sit ups and 30 push ups. Basic is still going to kick my ass, but I'm looking forward to it.

I leave in less than a week now and its some what bittersweet. I don't relish saying goodbye to everyone, but I have to. I'm moving on with my life, away from my hometown. Now, I'll only visit for holidays and special occasions. It is crazy to think that I'll soon be living that adult life, but its here. It really is. I'm happy for it, but I hate those goodbyes - even if they really are just see you laters. I don't look forward to leaving the house on Tuesday, but once I get past that I'll be past the "upset stage." I've been in and out of it today because today was the last day I got to talk with my boyfriend and my mom keeps bringing up that its my last weekend and I have to decide what I want to do with it and blah blah blah.

I feel like I'm leaving another life behind. I take nothing with me to basic by my ID and Social Security Card, literally. My clothes will be sent home or to charity once I've arrived on base. It'll be a very long time before I really settle down again, which isn't what I imagined myself doing, but that's military life and its something I can accept. With whichever of the two jobs I end up with I'll have two years of tech school, and then four years of service. I have a six year contract that will be interrupted by my applying to OCS so that I might become an officer. That means ten years in the military for me unless I elect to make it a career. But with my desire for a family...I feel like that time will either be interrupted or I will leave the military once my contract is up and shift to a government job or something else. No matter what, the life I lead now will be nonexistent once I enter military life. I will miss some parts of it, but I'm meant to be in the Navy. I would not have made it this far if not. The only hill I've got to conquer is basic and I believe I can.

Well, thats my update. I might stop in before I leave, sorry if I don't. I'll try to while I'm as tech school. I do believe I am allowed a computer, so I'll be in and out depending on which school I go to and how busy I am.

So, this weekend was wonderful! There are a few things that I would change, but everything was for the best I think. I had a great time with my family, Lindsey, and Jason. There is so much to say! But I'm not really sure how to say it.

Friday everyone got in before 5, Jason being the last one. It was slightly awkward at first, which I expected since we hadn't seen each other in forever, but everything relaxed, especially once we got to dinner. I sat between Lindsey and Jason, since I knew I would see my family more then either of them. Is it weird to say that everything just went perfectly. Afterwards, Jason got a little too drunk, too fast, which really worried me. He was trying to impress me, which was really unnecessary - he knows that now. I stayed with him all night, partly because I was worried about him, but I also wanted to knowing that he wanted me to. Neither of us slept very well. I think it was partly because we were both getting used to it. I'd never slept with anyone before, so I was adjusting to it, and I was just anxious about it and the next day with graduation and all.

Saturday went well. Graduation felt longer then it really was because I was one of the first to walk of 500. It was nice though, and exciting. I texted through a bit of it, mostly the walk. Our president gave the speech this year because he is retiring, and it was good. I don't know that I ever stopped smiling this weekend...it was weird but a nice change, especially after a stressful end to the semester. I didn't get my diploma because one of my professors didn't have my grade in - annoying - but i'll be shipped to me. The registrar also wants the transferred credits of an online class, but I told them to remove that, so I have to take care of that, its not necessary to graduate, so I'm not worried about the credits. I was exhausted by the end of the ceremony, but it didn't really set in until after we'd taken pictures and were waiting to go to dinner. At dinner I got to see my dad and Jason interact, and it was a huge relief. I didn't have any qualms about Jason, but my dad can be a little off the wall at times - its hard to describe, but I'm sure most people understand - but Jason took it all in stride it seemed.

I don't really think I can beat around the bush anymore...Things with Jason went great. We were both slightly apprehensive, but it really was for no reason. It was a crazy weekend, and I wished I could have spent more time with him over all, but everything went splendidly. I only realized how much I really liked him, and it was the same for him - which still throws me for a loop when I think about it. He's been so open with me, and I wonder if I been open enough with him. I don't know. I worry about a lot of pointless things when this can probably workout in the end. I just have trust issues because of a previous relationship - which sucks. We have limited time though, he's in ROTC at his college, he's a little younger then me - by a year (yes I suppose I am a couger), and in mid-June he'll leave for Texas for some training/shadowing with the Army. It honestly sucks. The next time I'll see him is at my graduation from basic in September, and after that, who knows. I'll be in Florida or California with limited leave time and he'll be at school. I suppose it'll be the same once he graduates, he has to go where the Army tells him to go - orders are orders - and I'll have to go where the Navy tells me. Its only been a few weeks and I'm - strangely - attached. It wasn't even this way with my ex. I don't know if that means this is something so much more, or not. I love how this feels, but it still makes me nervous, its hard to help.

I have plans to see him this week. If my dress comes in for my friends wedding, I'll have to drive back down to school and I'll visit him on the way there and back. I'm planning on staying with him Thursday night if I have to go down there. Then he's going to come visit for this weekend. Things are moving fast - emotionally, just to clarify - for us, so I guess I'll just have to wait and see how things go beyond today and up until June. If things still feel so...great, I'll have to get over my trust issues for good - especially since those walls are already crumbling.

Mmm, okay, now that all of that is out of the way...I'm adjusting to home life again. I'm anticipating my move after basic and have accumulated a lot clothes and items to give to charity. I have the feeling that a lot of my stuff will probably have to stay at home, but we'll see. I won't have a car after basic. My dad is selling his so he can stop making payments on it and will start driving his truck again, which I had at school. I'd almost anticipated him giving me the truck, which I would not have minded entirely despite the horrible gas milage, I'm just used to it now. I don't know what I'll do when it comes to tech school in a few months. I guess I'll have to talk to some officers about what I should bring in preperation, especially since I'll have about two years there.

Well, I'm off for now since I've geen such a through update on my life, lol